So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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