How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
