There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
