I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
