You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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