Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
