She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
