I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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