I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
