Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
