That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
