Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
