So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
