my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
