Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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