Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Michael Bay diarrhea
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
