haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
