I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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