she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
worst night to have a conscience
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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