so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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