She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
