you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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