I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
