Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
