look no pants
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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