is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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