Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
