Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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