I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
