Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
