About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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