Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
