Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
