I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
