Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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