There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
