I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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