dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
her facebook's as public as her vagina
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
