you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
