Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
