But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
