i just google imaged poop.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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