Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
