Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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