You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
