Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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