You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
