I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
