the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
