dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
