There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
