i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
