what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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